It is a time of buses. A lot of bus time. Mateo Del Bus has recommenced as commander of this voyage.
I left Panamá city days ago now, on a Tica Bus bound for San Jose, Costa Rica. The first thing that happened on that bus was an experience that not many can say they have had...I am truly a lucky man. We crossed the Canal of Panamá...watching the teeny-bopper movie Bring It On: In It To Win It. And what a cinematic gem that is!! Not only am I lucky to have seen that masterpeice, but I got to watch it while the Panamá Canal rolled gently beneath us on the bus! It's a wonder that cheerleading and major, world changing nautical shipping channels have never been brought together in harmony before! Lucky, lucky me.
We watched a number of terrible movies on that bus ride. It lasted for 17 hours so you can probably imagine. We stopped for awhile at the customs point and milled about waiting for the usual mysterious and nonsensical Mundo Latino process to work its magic. Once cleared to enter Costa Rica, we re-boarded the bus and were promptly given plastic bowls of red beans and rice. Sounds crappy, but I can't tell you how happy I am to be in the land of the bean once again!! I love Mexican and El Salvadorean food and I have really missed it down south of the equator. For me, even a bowl of just beans and rice is a pleasure. 'How can that be chefboy?' You might ask. Well, they're just good. That is the answer. Defying the corriente principal is what Mateo seems to be about. Michael Shanti said, "Red beans and rice, red beans and rice, red beans and rice I could eat a bowl twice..." and I agree with him.
I got to the capital of San Jose at about two in the morning...dozing and in need of a leg stretching session. I got a cab to the hostel with an older pair of germans. They were nice; they wore matching clothes. I think that is cute amongst older couples even though it is annoying and makes you want to punch them in the windpipe. My first sign of what Costa Rica is like was in the form of the reception guy at the hostel. He was a middle eastern fellow, quite nice, who speaks almost no spanish at all. And he doesn't really need to because everyone around here speaks some english. It is a trip. After getting around a little bit here in Costa Rica, I have decided that we should just go ahead, attack the place militarily, and take it over as a new state. We haven't taken any new states in a while, and this one would be real easy seeing as most of the cultural work seems to already be done. I haven't been everywhere, but the places I have been in have been filled with gringos and their music, style, language, coffee, food and chain stores. The invasion is halfway completed anyway!!! For only a couple billion dollars of military budget money we could get this job done! Then the gringos could take out more of their spanish language frustrations on the locals of their own country, in the fifty first state!!! "Because in America we speak english dammit! Yeah, you maybe used to be a spanish speaking country, but now you belong to us so let's just get over it shall we? Maybe sometimes we whitey's will amuse ourselves by flailing through a half assed attempt at spanish, but if we do try it, it's a gift to you people!! And you should be thankful!! We took your asses over!!! Ha ha!"
Oh now I'm just being silly. Right? I am not sure. Seems like that mentality is already here. I surely have overheard at least as much english as spanish, and yes, that is because of where I am staying and traveling to an extent, but there is something more, I tell you. And it has been confirmed by the Costa Ricans I have spoken at length with. (In Spanish) They have Wendy's here. They have GAP. They have almost all the companies that we have, and then their own too. You can buy any American name brand products in the stores and ATMs give out American dollars in addition to Colones. It isn't a very big country, but the whities are everywhere in it. I am sure that America would be ok with another small-ish state. I guess the problem would be that it is full of people who many would mistake for immigrants. Maybe we would even kick them out of Costa Rica. Make them move to Nicaragua or Honduras or Mexico. After all, for most of our countrymen, all and any latinos could be Mexicans right? They all wanna speak spanish and they all want our jobs!!! They must right? Why else would they be trying to get into America. And if we annexed Costa Rica as a state, they would all of the sudden be in America, and just imagine the immigration logistics problems with that!! Oh man, those poor, white, rascist, southern republicans would be writhing with fear and fury! Imagine how those Costa Ricans might vote!! More goddamn liberals!! It would cause quite a stir. And so for their sakes, maybe we outta just leave it, and exploit it, as is. There's enough hippy/gringo infrastructure here to supply all the American-ness these tourists want and need anyway. And one can only imagine there will be more to come.
And the interest in Costa Rica is with good reason. For those who haven't thought about the meaning of the name of the country, it means, 'Rich Coast'. And that it has. It has the most species of plant life of any country in the world. For it's size it has the most animal variety as well. The variety of landscapes here is incredible. From beautiful beaches with some of the world's best scuba diving, to the highland cloud forests and rain forests that team with life of all kinds, this place is chock full of abundance.
I spent the last few days up in a couple places called Monteverde and Santa Elena. It is close to some very unique forests that are called 'bosques nubosos' or 'cloud forests'. These differ in many ways from the rain forests that are found here in lower altitudes. A combination of currents and mountain configurations cause the condensating air to rise and hold the forests at the top of the mountain range in a world of clouds. As a result, a whole microclimate is formed with amazing things to see inside of it. There are many adventure sports in the area, from bungee jumping to zip-lining to the partially famous Tarzan Swing. I toured the 'canopy' of the forest the first day I was there and saw a lot of birds and plants that were really intersting. There are so many kinds of trees there. My favorite was a type that strangles the huge trees that grow in the forest. After many years, the stranglers live off the moist lifeblood of the host tree and the host tree dies and decomposes, leaving the exoskeleton of the strangler. We climbed probably fifteen meters up inside of one of these stranglers, as if it were a ladder. It was completely cylindrical and a lot like a vertical tunnel. Cool. We walked all through the branches of the forest on bridges that had been built to facilitate the viewing of the ecosystem. It was impressive.
The next morning I was up at five and headed to the Monteverde Cloud Forest Reserve to scout around for the day. I ended up in a group with a great guide named Andreas. He was a young guy, but a bird fanatic and a huge geek for leaves and plants. If you've never been around birding people, it's something you have to see to believe. It is pretty dorky, but in a good way. They have a complete lingo for the viewing of birds and birds themselves and all their habits, and the bird people's excitement is such that at times you'd think that God himself had flown down and perched him/herself on the branch of a nearby tree. They gasp and groan as though in some sort of orgasmic nirvana...and yet, they are simply watching birds flying around through binoculars. It is a thing to behold. I say this with love. I am not making fun, because it is rare in life to see people this excited about anything!!! Andreas was a complete nature badass. He used to shoot documentaries with National Geographic and he was a naturalist on numerous cruise ships. It cannot be overstated how much this guy knows. He is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge on everything in these forests. EVERYTHING!! I was amazed. He had a sense of humor to go along with his knowledge and his interest was infectious. I found myself grinning and giggling as I scampered this way and that to get a better look at a bunch of birds.
The variety here in Costa Rica can also not be overstated. We saw all sorts of things. But the biggy was the Quetzal. Now I don't know shit about 'birding', but it is said that the Quetzal is a very rare bird and that to see it is also quite rare. Bird connosieurs consider it a 'top three' bird and don't want to die without seeing it once in their lives. Usually, seeing one is a treat, but as luck would have it...we saw at least a dozen!!! Colorful and graceful, they were frolicking around the trees about 10 meters up for hours the morning we were there. We got to observe them through a powerful scope, and it got to the point where we were almost bored of them! (Exageration) I am sure the experience was wasted on me, even though I really enjoyed it. It would be like a person with no sense of smell drinking an '82 Lafitte Rothschild...what a waste.
I had spent close to seven hours on the bus getting up there, and luckily I had partied the night before going so I was tired and slept and drooled almost the whole way. On the way back I wasn't so lucky. It seemed as though the return bus trip took forever and a day. I was tired but couldn't sleep, and so I grooved to some tunes and watched the rain fall on the Costa Rican countryside. It smelled great. Inside the bus, not so much though. On the ride down I met a Texan girl who lives in New York and we had a fun time talking and drinking that night back in San Jose. She doesn't want to have her info be known on the internet so we'll call her Jessica and pretend that she is from Louisiana and lives in Connecticut. She lives and works in the corporate world and it was interesting for Mateo to exchange life ideas with her. More about that later. We explored the San Jose world of cow art, and walked the deserted nighttime streets, fending off the beggars and burglars into the wee hours. I will surely miss this traveling life. Always meeting cool people and exploring new environments. There is something to be said for security and familiarity, but for me the instability and chaos of the moving world is equally important. It is an ebb and flow I suppose...a pendulum of experience that swings back and forth. At this time the wave is carrying old Mateo Del Norte back into shore. I will be home in the USA in about two weeks, and for all that I will be giving up, I am happy at what I will gain as well. Good old San Francisco and a big little world of friends and music and food and life. But again, more on that later...
Footnote: There is a lot of sarcasm in this blog entry. Please don't confuse me for a close minded conservative. Thanks.
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